Introducing The 8th Continent – a new interactive gamebook

Hi everyone!

I just wanted to let you know about the release of a new interactive novel, The 8th Continent, created and written by Pat and Ben Garrett.

Interactive novel means: – that as well as reading the story, you have a hand in shaping it too.  You play as the novel’s protagonist, Morgan.  At every step of the way you choose Morgan’s path through an epic journey, a search for a lost family in a post-apocalyptic world.

It’s currently available on iPhone and Android, and Pat assures me that the Windows version is coming very soon! As you can see, it looks pretty ace – and even better, it’s currently free! So go and download it, have a play and let me know what you think! Blurb and links below:

The Eighth Continent is a FREE interactive Gamebook suitable for all readers.

Any fans of ‘Fallout 3’ are sure to like the setting and atmosphere, while any readers of the ‘Fighting Fantasy’ gamebooks of yore will take a little trip down memory lane! The game is free to download at Google Play, Amazon, or in the Apple iStore. Check out the website or store pages to find out more!

Game details and features




Google play:

Facebook page: The 8th Continent

How to Fit Writing a Novel Around the Day Job (Without Going Crazy)

Thanks to Marie for hosting my article – “How to Fit Writing a Novel Around the Day Job (Without Going Crazy)”

Hopefully it will strike a chord with some of you and give you some useful tips to use in your routine. I’d love you to share some of your own!

the end


The Easter Bunny Song.

As it’s the beginning of the Easter weekend, I’m re-blogging an Easter poem I wrote over ten years ago when at uni. If you don’t like ironic and cheeky humour, then you won’t like this! If you do, enjoy 🙂

Matty Millard

As it’s nearly Easter I thought I’d be topical for a change, instead of just odd.

If you’ve read any of the other material on my blog so far, you’ve probably noticed my love of silliness, and sarcasm. You won’t be let down here, I promise.

Anyway, here it is. “The Easter Bunny Song”. It never became a song as I mistook my guitar for an Easter egg and ate it, but “The Easter Bunny Poem” just sounds rubbish. 

Warning: if you take things too seriously, please ignore.

The Easter Bunny Song


I’ve always thought it rather funny,

Just think about the Easter Bunny.

And what do bunnies always do??

Parents mustn’t have a clue.


 They let him in on Easter morn,

He sneaks upstairs to their young born,

Armed with chocolate to lure them in

On the day that Jesus was cleansed of sin…



I have a solution which…

View original post 111 more words

Matty M’s Top Tips for Keeping Safe at Christmas

Hi all.

First of all, a very Merry Christmas to all of you!!!!

Here’s a little (reposted) bit of humour from my blog last Christmas, hope it makes you smile.


It is well known that fun and high spirits are the cause of at least 7 headaches and 12 paper cuts every second. But don’t you worry, Matty M has got your back. Here are my top ten tips for keeping the whole family safe over Christmas:

1) Accidental auto-surgery is the cause of at least three injuries every Christmas. When you’re preparing the turkey on Christmas morning, please be careful not to remove your own giblets.


2) Gift-wrapping razor blades may be funny, but its not nice.


3) Don’t panic! Its not a bomb, it’s just a cracker. There is no need to jump out of the window.

4) Don’t drink and drive. Get a taxi. Remember, the office bike will not get you home.

5) No matter how irritating it gets, you must not punch Cliff Richard. (Ok, so this one’s optional. Sorry Cliff, but you ruined both our summer and winter holidays)

6) Drinking makes everyone think they are Superman. Christmas sherry makes you think you are Santa Claus. You’re not, he has a better beard. Please don’t climb onto your neighbour’s roof and down their chimney.


7) Using up the left-overs is good. Sprout curry is not. Put the loo roll in the fridge.

8) Too much computer gaming is bad for your health. At least have New Year’s Eve away from World of Warcraft. Watch Jools Holland’s Hootenanny, don’t duel trolls and shoot a granny.

9) Sexual health is especially important at this time of year. Wear a femdom at all times, immaculate conception is at its highest in the winter months.


And finally,

10) Whatever you do… don’t feed them after midnight.



Remember kids, your safety is my number one priority.


Much love,

Matty M


(Disclaimer: The statistics in this highly factual piece of fiction may have been completely and utterly made up)

The One Lovely Blog Award

Hey everyone,

First of all I’d like to thank for awarding me the One Lovely Blog Award!

It’s really nice to know that people are enjoying reading my blog and especially my novel In That Other Dimension, so thanks for the comments and encouragement. Keep them coming 🙂

Anyway, in order to accept the award, I have to tell you seven things about myself.

1) I have all my best ideas when I’m asleep

2) I know that Wolverhampton is the greatest city in the world (contrary to most of my blog this is a non-fictional statement)

3) I once got 37 out of 10 for a story I wrote at school (re-writing this as a children’s book is on my list of things to do). Like the rest of my writing, it has a fairly imaginative storyline!

4) I am one of the four developers of the game “Fish, Octopus, Shark.” Blog is in progress to introduce this to the world.

5) My first ever gig was co-headlined by Marilyn Manson and Metallica (and is still to be beaten!)

6) I like to include private jokes in my writing that few people except for myself will notice or understand. It makes me laugh

7) My first ever karaoke song was “Pretty Fly (For a White Guy)”. I was badass.

I’m nominating the following blogs for this same award. They are all blogs which I do read and enjoy, so keep up the good work everyone! If you do wish to accept the award, the rules for this new group of nominees are as follows:
1. You have to thank the person who nominated you on their blog to receive your honor.
2. You have to tell 7 things about yourself and human canoe counts!
3. You have to nominate 15 blog’s and then tell them of their nomination!

















Well done to you all.

Fish out.


Travelling Thailand!

Hey all,

Just a quick blog update for you all really. I recently did some slightly different writing for a change based on my travels of Thailand a couple of years ago. Yes, that means it is sensible! This has kindly been published on so please go and take a look!!

Here’s one of my pics (Koh Phi Phi) to give you a taster – I will post the whole piece on here at some point 🙂

The next section of my novel-zine “In That Other Dimension” should be up in the next few days. For anyone that thought it wasn’t already silly enough, you’ve got a real treat in store over the next couple of chapters!!!

Fish out

Matty M

Poems. Ay it?

Good evening all. Today I thought I’d share with you a good bit of black country sarcasm. If you hadn’t noticed from my previous posts, sarcasm and dryness are something which I think I’m rather good at. So here it is. This poem was meant as a song, but it was too depressing for a tune. The tune it wanted to be was too upset to break through the octavian rhythm that whatever it was I thought about four years ago when I wrote it. I assume it was probably beer that caused that. it was uni. Or maybe exams, they were rubbish. The whole point of these words however, was that I was so uninspired that a title just wasn’t neccesary. So here is… “Untitled”. For anyone thats been to my house, its on my wall – if you’ve not noticed.


I’m really bored so gonna write,

A stupid song so full of sh*te,

That it may make my boring life,

Entertaining, for one night.


It’s gonna be a masterpiece,

To live on past when I’m deceased,

It’ll be the best song in the world,

A song everyone will have heard.


My lyrical genius will shine through,

To make you laugh ’til you go blue,

You’ll want to learn all of the words,

So you can impress all the birds.


But as I’m so bored I can’t write,

This work of art this very night,

My inspirations running dry

And I have something in my eye.


Sweet dreams, people.

Fish out.

Matty M

 Copyright © Matty Millard 2012

Blogging? What’s all this then?

Well, I guess that as this is my first ever blog entry you all ought to say a big “Hello” to me hadn’t you?

Thanks. And a warm salutation to you too.

Anyway, I’m Matty M, and this is my blog. Once I’ve worked out how to use the damn thing I’ll be sharing some of my writing with you, as well as my wonderfully witty thoughts of the day. If I ever have any.

In New Blog News (fake trademark), I’ve put some stuff on the “About Me” page. Feel free to read, it tells you some stuff about me. Not much, but if you’re that interested you can stalk me or something. I’ll probably put more up one day.

Also, in the next few days I’ll be posting installment number one of my current novel “In That Other Dimension…” ©Matty Millard 2012

I can sense your excitement from here.

Fish out